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December 2004 - Where Is The Love? 26th November 2004 After a tumultuous year filled with highs and lows that even the most radical roller coaster ride would struggle to compete.... some time in September of this year of 2004, I found some semblance of balance... Without listing or boring you with toooo many of the details... After selling our home in June 2003, and leaving Johannesburg after 10 years, beginning a new life on the distant shores of the Western Cape, my life and sense of self took a complete turn... I had said good-bye to friends and a life I loved, shutdown a business I enjoyed and found myself in complete turmoil and struggle. There were however a few constants in my life that allowed me anchorage in my stormy emotions and this very stressful time. My husband..... my mentor, best friend, and lover. And.... WhyWeight! To some it might seem like just another ‘website’.... After weeks off line, without email or any updates to the website it was with gratitude, deeply felt ...and tremendous relief that I finally had a phone line to receive email in early January 2004.... emails of concern, emails of feedback, emails of sharing, emails asking where I was?..... all came flooding in! Emails from subscribers, emails from website visitors, emails from friends! I felt needed, I felt missed, I felt cared for and most of all I felt loved *Grin*! In the previous months I had sunk into a sense of despair and depression.... the reflection in the mirror telling me in no uncertain terms that the slim and trim body I had enjoyed was now 4 sizes bigger and a dozen kilograms heavier. And did it stop there.... In an effort to stop my increasing weight gain, I began following my own WhyWeight OnLine program.... rewriting and revamping, sharing more of myself in the process. I poured myself into an email to the WhyWeight OnLine participants, sharing my turmoil and struggle and asking for their support to start following the program from scratch..... the response was overwhelming! Once the weight eased off, slowly and surely.... did it stop there? I discovered that the weight gain was just a small part of the turmoil expressed in my body.... and even though the weight eased off and has stayed off for the last 10 months or so.... the cellulite and centimetres have been far more challenging..... and so I called for volunteers to try out the Cellulite Attack program ..... once again the response was amazing! What subsequently followed were months of the most stressful and hectic schedule I have ever endured, mainly because I started a job in early February, so working on the website and programs, plus replying to email was relegated to early mornings and late at night. ....and like I said, some time in September, I found some semblance of balance... the rewrites for the WhyWeight OnLine program were almost complete, all the research and my testing for the WhyWeight Cellulite Attack program was compiled, the website was updated regularly, the email newsletter was going out timeously, the participants on the programs were sharing the most amazing feedback, my boss came back from overseas after a 3 month holiday and I finally had some free time. I was spending time pampering myself and enjoying my life and time with my hubby and kids. It was a wonderful few weeks of balance, harmony and love. I even felt energised and excited... despite the long hours of work. Then on Thursday the 7th October 2004, my much loved Mam-In-Law passed away. The loss I felt at her passing was devastating. The few weeks of serenity I had just experienced was blown to smithereens, and I was back in turmoil. It felt like all the frustration, stress and chaos I had finally overcome was back, and then compounded by the loss I now felt as well. Updating the website, writing articles, doing research and compiling information ......deadlines, days and month ends lost all meaning and purpose! There was just no way I could write in that frame of mind and neither did I want to.... what was the point? Yet those emails kept coming.... My email in box has taken on a life of it’s own and the forum has become a real place... where I laugh and I cry...... I found a support and sharing to sustain me through the last few weeks of despair.... despair because I discovered how much I loved writing... only after I could no longer put words on the screen to form coherent sentences that make any sense.... I rediscovered how much I love WhyWeight, how much I love writing, only because when I do.... I hear from you .... and I have discovered how much I love reading your words through the emails you send me. And so that love has grown, my passion for what I do and why I do it has been rekindled, the need to express and share my feelings and emotions has brought me to express the words I have written today..... I am honoured that you share your experiences and your lives with me. In dedication to all of you and to my Mam-In-Law who always told me how much she loved me, I invite you to share how the anger, frustration and despair I was feeling was totally overwhelmed and consumed by the love and support that fills my life..... in an honest, ordinary type way.... to leave me feeling loved in a truly extraordinary way! To my Mam-In-Law Through the Healing Tears, Love and Laughter! I hope you enjoy sharing! ‘Where Is The Love’ - December 2004 [ Wes and Jordy ] You can submit you own experiences to be published by sending your story to List of articles written by Mands..... Read More
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