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1st December 2004 Dedication to Wes and Jordy! The December 2004 theme of ‘Where Is The Love’ was inspired by my sons and a song they have been playing for the last few months. Some of you might understand when I say it has been frustrating, exasperating and at times rewarding to be the mother of teenage sons. Frustrating and exasperating because my loving, endearing and wonderful sons have become teenagers - teenage boys who seemed to change into young men overnight with minds and views of their own. Who want independence and space, who I struggle to relate to.... who are still loving and endearing beneath that veneer of teenage testosterone struggle. Needless to say, my home and space has turned into a haven for the dozen or more teenage boys and girls (or I should say young men and women) who have traipsed through and taken up space in our home in the last two months. Trying to write articles and update the website with the boom, boom, bang beat of music they play which seems to have little purpose other than noise to overlay or underscore the rumbustious conversations interspersed with nervous giggles... has been a challenge. Then every now and again the melody and rythmn of a song would soothe and calm my nerves, even though I was unable to hear the words. When I finally had the courage to ask if I could loan the CD, with the particular song that I might listen to the actual words of the song, my request was greeted with enthusiasm and ‘Way to go!’ and ‘Of course!’ and ‘No problem!’ by the half dozen teenagers in residence at the time.... my heart softened at their animation and enthusiasm, enough to actually listen to “their” music with an open mind! The song “Where Is The Love” comes from an album called Elephunk by a group Black Eyed Peas and the words are heart wrenching and true! The phrase ‘Where Is The Love’ has become a mantra for me in the last few weeks as I struggled with my workload and the despair I felt at the loss of my Mam-in-laws passing. In moments of frustration and anger, I have stopped in an instance and asked myself ‘Where Is The Love’ in whatever circumstance I have found myself, and discovered the answer was always clear and soothing. In this particular instance, despite my teenage sons rebellion, they still love me and are basically loving and great boys. Despite the fundamental values and lessons I have taught them, they still need to experience life for themselves and learn their own lessons. Despite the fact that I am their mom, I am still a ‘girl’ and they are still ‘boys’ and my husband has more acceptance and a better understanding of who and what they are right now.... simply because he’s a ‘boy’ too! Once again my boys have taught me the lesson of acceptance and that it’s OK to be different! That to be special, unique and different gives you the right to live your own life and make your own mistakes and that as long as you take time to look for ‘Where Is The Love’ you will probably always find it! To my son Wesley-John aged 15 (nearly 16) and my son Jordan-Ross 13 (just turned) thank-you for teaching me once more the valuable lesson of acceptance and helping me see the deep and abiding love that underscores every aspect of my life! Your loving Mom! Return to [ “Where Is The Love?” - Index ] You can submit you own experiences to be published by sending your story to List of articles written by Mands..... Read More
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