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How to be positively Selfish I once read somewhere that the quickest way to ‘control’ a woman, to literally take a stab at her spirit is to call her ‘fat and selfish’. I happen to know the same words work equally well to deflate a man’s ego. The problem I believe is that most people lump the word ‘selfish’ under the same category as ‘evil’, ‘undesirable’ and ‘sinful’. This is most unfortunate because I’m on a mission to help people re-define the word! Imagine (if you will) butter thinly spread on bread. Imagine a car spluttering to a halt as it runs out of fuel. Imagine having your life energy – your chi – literally wheezing out of your body and your spirit like helium from a balloon. Do you feel stretched thin? Deflated and drained? If you answered yes to this question then you could do with a healthy dose of selfishness. Learning to recognize what drains our spiritual and physical energy actually demands periods of self-reflection. Moments of ‘aloneness’ (Me-myself-and-I-time). Energy drains include the likes of life situations, toxic people (energy vampires!), worry and guilt. These essential periods of self-reflection are like visits to a spa or wellness centre; guaranteed to revitalize your body, mind and spirit! If you are giving more than you are receiving in an effort to please as many people as possible because you think this is ‘the right thing to do’ then you need to ask yourself, ‘How much energy is this actually using up and what price am I ultimately going to pay?’ If you find yourself volunteering your time and energy to every project including, saving the Philippine tarsier from extinction, then you should also ponder on the above question. If you find yourself envying your daughter’s wonderful display of carefree abandon on the jumping castle, why not join in? Comparing yourself to others is a huge drain, as is holding on to old losses and your past. Indulge. Do what you have to do to get your daily dose of ‘me-time’; this includes bargaining with your kids, locking the door behind you and telling your husband that he can play golf on Sundays if you can get your daily retreat. Once you start this process of self-reflection start by identifying the qualities and emotions that fill you with energy. Think: Prayer, meditation, fun, joy, pleasure, hope, dreams and then give yourself more. Create and invite satisfying experiences to give you the nourishment you crave. Now imagine humming and buzzing with enthusiasm and joy. Imagine having the energy to focus on what really matters: you, your family, your friends and your career. Make it happen! YOLANDA MCADAM Yolanda holds one-on-one and small group sessions during the week and on Saturdays and facilitates Self-empowerment and Life Purpose workshops. She can be contacted on 072-113-2374 or AFFIRMATIONS!
For upcoming events and other interesting notices please Helping people create lives of abundance, balance & rewarding relationships! ©Yolanda McAdam 10 things you can learn from NOAH: Don’t miss the boat Source: Taxi – Campus newsletter
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