|
Be Optimistic and your Options will become apparent at the most Opportune time! My husband is the eternal optimist, and I am more realistic and practical, so much so, that sometimes his optimistic perspective drives me crazy. Interestingly enough, after 18 years of marriage, Being optimistic is more than just being positive about certain events and circumstances, or having a positive outlook on life when things are going relatively well..... it’s the absolute unshakeable hope and belief that even in the worst of circumstances, when things are really going wrong, you know at some point in time things will change and get better. It’s knowing that even when things do get a little better, and then life plunges you back on your butt, as long as you are continuously optimistic, you know things will get even better! (Just between you and me.... I know that when my husband reads this before I publish, he’s going to have a good ole chuckle at my acknowledgement ;o) Realistically, practically, I know that I will probably never be as optimistic as my husband, and that’s OK! However, I do admire his optimistic view on life, in both the worst of circumstances and the best of times! It’s something I rely on and hold onto when I am feeling at my worst and things seem to be going really awfully wrong. It’s his optimism that allows me to slow down and just enjoy the moment. And when I struggle to enjoy the moment, then at least I am able to just slow down and BE. You really can’t enjoy life if you are over committed, juggling too many things at one time, or constantly playing catch-up and racing around at Mach 2 with your hair on fire (as I tend to ;o). Being rushed reduces your awareness to a whirling grey of confusing thoughts and fragmented emotions. It also causes you to miss the subtle nuances of your options and the varying choices you always have available. You get tied up in the ‘have too’s’ and the ‘must do’s’ without leaving you any room to manoeuvre when things really go wrong or life just happens. Like the electricity going off in the whole town or traffic getting snarled for an hour when you were already an hour late, (and of course had you been early or on time you would have missed the traffic jam completely). You really need to slow down to be aware of all the options you have available when you are working towards resolving an issue or striving towards fulfilling your dearest wish. I remember working with some very busy, high profile lawyers, who decided as their New Year’s resolution they would resolve their weight issue’s together as a group of women. In desperation they sought my more realistic and practical help, when things seemed to get worse rather than better. In the list’s I asked them to write about what things they thought they were doing wrong, things like; too little time to make healthier more nutritious food, not enough energy to get through the day when on diet, too little time, too much fizzy soft drinks because none of them liked the diet kind, too little time, too much tea and coffee, toooo little time, not enough sleep, not enough exercise, tooo little time etc. etc. (some of their ideas were simply bizarre, and by mutual agreement were scratched off the list ;o). After just an hour’s discussion there was a list of options available for them to try. They clubbed together and bought a liquidizer and recipe book for the office, spent some time with the tea lady experimenting with smoothies for increased energy and agreed to pay her a little extra for making them this additional beverage every day. They each agreed to make salads and a healthier lunch for all of them just one day a week. They agreed to walk together three times a week while discussing some of their work rather than sitting in an office having a meeting. They stocked the fridge at work with fruit juices and mineral water instead of fizzy soft drinks. They replaced the Danish pastries, doughnuts, biscuits and chocolates during meetings with ‘finger foods’ like a bowl of fresh fruit, slivers of celery and carrots, and fingers of cheese and health bread. They even implemented these options and some other changes successfully for a couple of months, so much so that they became the norm for their office routine. The results; more sleep, more energy, more productivity, more time, and a healthier, slimmer, trimmer happier group of women! Interestingly enough, none of these ideas were mine, all I did in the course of the meetings, was ask questions, and create the time and space for them to think about what their options actually were! They came up with the ideas and realised how many choices and changes they could make, and then they actually went ahead with the options they thought were the most realistic and the best for all of them! A male colleague in the same office approached me to help him quit smoking after more than a dozen failed attempts, when the ladies enjoyed their success and proclaimed the benefits of my realistic and practical advice! Although he was dismayed at my advice when I told him to forget about trying to quit right now, and to call me again in six months at a more opportune time. Let me explain. He was busy with the biggest project of his career and was under an enormous amount of stress and pressure to succeed. He was going through a divorce, and whilst amicable, he was experiencing huge emotional conflict at having to tell his son, his parents and his friends that he was gay. He was buying a new home for himself and his partner, and he was organising the renovations and decorating amidst much delay and frustration. Although, I thought I would never hear from him again, and worried at my forthright and realistic advice, of course my hubby was much more optimistic and supportive...... and in fact he did call just a few days later and agreed that trying to quit smoking with all that was going on in his life was an unrealistic endeavour at that time. Instead, he asked for help to deal with the stress and to empower his self-esteem and confidence. Six months later he contacted me and said the opportunity and incentives to quit smoking had arrived and he was now ready to give it a try. With some practical, realistic advice and some very sophisticated CDs he did in fact quit smoking two months later. Every year for the following 3 years he called to confirm that he was still ‘smoke free’ and to thank me for my help. The problem is that when we try to set things right in our lives, or make the decision to sort ourselves and our life out, then we tend to want to ‘fix’ everything that we think is wrong..... all at the same time. Resolve our relationships, sort out our weight issue, clear our debt, quit smoking, increase our financial security, be more productive at work, spend time with the family, enjoy more social time with our friends, laugh more and enjoy life even more. Being optimistic, and knowing that you can accomplish all these things is in fact a realistic approach. Being able to do them all together right now... is both impractical and unrealistic and will cause you more frustration and harm than good. You have to prioritise, take one thing at a time, and as you deal with an issue, enjoy your accomplishments and success, and then wait for the right opportunity to present itself to continue with your endeavours and fulfilling your wish or desires! © 2001 to 2007 Mands WhyWeight - All Rights Reserved |
