|
Driving Ms. Perfect Many of us put an unnecessary amount of pressure on ourselves trying to be ‘perfect’ or Trying to lead ‘perfect lives’. We strive for what we consider the ‘ideal’ – the ‘perfect relationship’ and the ‘perfect partner’, the ‘perfect house’ and the ‘perfect job’ and of course the ‘perfect image’ and the ‘perfect looks’. In trying to be perfect we avoid self-examination and choose instead to look outside ourselves for validation. The underlying belief is ‘if it looks perfect on the outside then it must be perfect on the inside’. Not true. Wanting to be seen as ‘perfect’ or living as close to a perfect life reflects a lack of self-love and I say this because seeking perfectionism in everything or most things robs us of our capacity for spontaneity and freedom. One of the most ‘I–WANNA-BE-SEEN-AS-PERFECT’ people I know – a Type A personality – comes across not as confident and happy but as stiff, rigid and controlling. Another one, an artist with a penchant for shades of grey and blue, comes across not as creative and spontaneous but as fearful and anxious. The problem with wanting to do everything ‘perfectly’ or wanting our lives to run in ‘prefect order’ is that we focus too strongly on the outcome and less on valuing and enjoying the process. We should be processing the experiences and not necessarily the outcomes. Sometimes in life we give certain projects all we’ve got and we try our best but the outcome does not always meet our expectation. To avoid this kind of disappointment we should do our best regardless and enjoy the process. Here’s the thing: Don’t confuse who you are with what you are producing. Furthermore don’t confuse ‘perfectionism’ with ‘raising standards’. It is possible to raise our standards without resorting to WONDER WOMAN and SUPERMAN ideals. Be realistic. Acknowledge certain limitations. Your husband will leave his socks on the bathroom floor once in a while, your 4 year old will leave the cap off the toothpaste, your wife will bake a flop now and then and you will have your ‘off days’. It is NOT possible to be all things to everyone. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else – least of all a celebrity. Comparisons are always potentially dangerous and always harmful. This week devote some time to being present in the moment. Practice some life-enhancing and life-affirming values like spontaneity, joy, freedom and pleasure. If you want there to be less fear and more love in the world, start with yourself. Affirmation: Yolanda Mc Adam - [ Email ] Yolanda is a practising LIFE COACH focusing on self-development and confidence and assertiveness training. Yolanda says: “I coach individuals and also train wannabe coaches. To define 'life coaching' - a life coach will help the client 'move forward' in life by helping them overcome perceived obstacles.” Life Coaching is about Change and Transformation. Website [ www.thelifesalon.net ]
|