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Like Mother, like daughter....... Most times when someone mentions relationships, our first thought is that of our relationships with the opposite sex. My first thought was my mom, Romy. It felt odd to think about my mum first, but then I realised that now that I have children of my own, it seems that I need my mom more than ever. My mum is my friend, my haven, a caregiver, a shoulder, a granny and most of all she is my role-model. Our relationship began when I was conceived and born into this world (not that I remember this part!) and developed through my toddler age. My mum took me through my knee-scraped childhood and early school years. My dad died when I was 11 and unfortunately I don't really remember him very much, but realised that my mum had always been the biggest part in my life. Romy re-married some time later to the most wonderful man, Brian and he has become more than a dad to me, but it is my mum that I would like to tell you about. Both my brother and sister were keen explorers and were always out and about with friends, whereas I preferred to stay close to home. I never went to crèche or pre-school and spent most of my days gardening with my mum or playing under her sewing machine. When I started school, my mum went back to work, and I was always terrified that us kids would be sent to boarding school like so many of my friends whose parents worked full-time, as I did not believe that I could cope without her. When I was a teen, my family moved to Bloemfontein (without all my siblings - including my step-brother and 2 step-sisters), and all of a sudden I became the "only child". The pressure and stress that it put on my parents not having their kids close to home was pretty tough and unfortunately I felt that I was being denied the freedom that they seem to have had when they were still at home with us. Now, when I think back on it, my teenage hormones had a lot to do with me feeling cramped and wanting to test my wings. During this time, my relationship with my parents was strained and uneasy, as I was constantly testing my boundaries. Not to mention that I had done some pretty hair-raising things for them to not want to trust me, but I had to learn from my mistakes and not from my friends or siblings' ones. When we returned to Johannesburg two years later and our family returned to normal size, our relationship stabilised into a comfortable peace. However a couple of months later my mom fell ill from an unknown illness, and whilst visiting her in the hospital I realised how terrified I was if I had to lose her. We started talking again (not just speaking) and I vowed that I would never let petty differences come between us again. A couple of years later, I met my other best friend - whom I am proud to say, is now my beloved hubby, and when we were married, I asked if both my mum and dad could give me away as I realised that they both meant so much more to me than just my parents. When my children were born (6 years apart), my mum took on a more special role in my life. She has become a second mom to them - looking after them, fetching them from school, looking after them when we have been away, helping me with doctor's appointments and the like. More importantly, she has always been close to them, not just in the distance from our house to theirs, but in their hearts. She has an amazing rapport with all her grand kids and I treasure this. My mum has never interfered in our lives, but is always there - either at the end of a telephone, 900m from my front door, or at my house when we need her. She is there with a shoulder to lean on, to cry on, to laugh with and she shares her love so freely. My best times are when I fetch my daughter from her twice a week, I feel so at home there, safe and know that my daughter is getting all the love and attention she needs. Both my parents have always been there for us in all ways - emotional support, encouragement and financially. My parents will be moving to Cape Town soon, and even though I will miss them intensely, I know that even that bit of distance will never change the way I feel about them. I know that they will be with me everyday, in my heart and thoughts and visits to Cape Town are going to be a must! I hope and pray that my children will have the same relationship with me as I do with her! Thanks Mum! For all you are to me, and more. Bevskins PS. For more articles written by Bevskins [ Read More ] |