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20th March 2007 Is Judgement Day.... Everyday for You? Are labels, descriptions, evaluations, analyses, judgement... synonymous with your thoughts and what you say? Like.... I had a great day, or I had a terrible day... Fat, Thin, Ugly, Gorgeous, Young, Old, Clever, Stupid, Wonderful, Awful..... just words you may think! When we constantly choose to classify or label whether it be good or bad, right or wrong, we cause chaos in our thoughts and turbulence within ourselves and our life.... less when we are having a great day and feel our best, however if you label something good... then ultimately there is going to be a bad, which will make you feel, worse! I have always considered myself a particularly tolerant person... and readily accept most people I meet for who they are, however I have also been blessed... or cursed (depending on your point of view ;o) ...with constantly striving to be a perfectionist, (It’s a Virgo thing I’m told... ;o). Pretty cool if you are working on an important project, have deadlines to meet, or want to achieve a goal. However, the other aspect of this particular quality, is the tendency to be tolerant and accepting of others, whilst being harshly self-critical.... which can cause a maelstrom of confusion to ensue, unless you are aware of the ramifications and consequences to such self-criticism and judgement. It can start out pretty simple... Quiet reflection on your eating habits and lifestyle, and the choice to make some changes to ensure the weight comes off and you trim down, back to a comfortable weight. Or a continuation of judgemental thoughts, self-criticism and negative words to that reflection in the mirror. Before too long, you may stop looking at the reflection in the mirror and start looking outside for reasons that are causing you unhappiness and discontent, weight gain and dissatisfaction.... then judgement escalates to blame, and lack of responsibility for your own thoughts, words, actions and inner peace and happiness. Instead of facing the reflection in the mirror, with unconditional love and acceptance, and ultimate responsibility for who you are and what you aspire for.... the mirror becomes a magnifying glass that allows you to look at your life and relationships.... giving you permission to blame others for all that’s wrong with you and your life. The consequent maelstrom of labels, judgement and harsh criticism of yourself and others can only be stopped by going back to the mirror.... with gentleness, kindness and love! Greeting the reflection in the mirror with, A few years ago, when I started writing and compiling the Seasonal articles.... I knew it was more for my own personal reflection and return to inner peace.... as for reasons I now only begin to understand and for which I am extremely grateful for, I got caught in the trap of focusing on my life through looking at everything ‘through a magnifying glass’. I lost my inner peace and my internal dialogue became more chaotic and turbulent with each passing day.... causing chaos in my relationships and my life. My weight increased and my size.... well just got bigger! You can imagine the confusion and turmoil this caused, especially while trying to continue with WhyWeight! I began to relinquish my need to judge and constantly label and classify things as good or bad, right or wrong.... experiencing more quiet and peace within.... allowing me to hear my own inner voice of guidance and follow my intuition once more. While, I love the time of Late Summer and the Autumn Equinox to follow the process that allowed me to go back to the mirror and face my reflection with gentleness and kindness, anytime during the year, any month or time of week, will serve you. Whilst, I have followed this practice for many years, only forgetting in years of extreme distress and stress, I realise now in reflection, how important this practice has been for me in finding the balance within myself and my life.... and the difference between the years I didn’t celebrate the Late Summer and Autumn Equinox... and the years that I did... are absolutely incredible. [ Late Summer ] - [ Autumn ] Equinox Celebration 21st March - Honour the past.... Take time in deep reflection by acknowledging all that you have achieved this past twelve months. Be grateful and appreciative for ALL. Contemplate and reflect on your goals, resolutions and aspirations... [ Read More ] 22nd March - Embrace and Celebrate the present Remembering to Love your Body, Empower your Mind with positive thoughts and affirmations, and Listen to your Heart! 23rd March - Explore the Future by writing down your hopes, dreams, desires and wishes. If you struggle to embrace stillness for reflection then try this simple breathing exercise: Place both feet flat on the floor or ground and let out a long slow breath. Imagine that the stress and anxiety that you feel pressing down on your like a heavy burden is draining through your body into the ground through the soles of your feet. Then slowly place your right hand on your heart and your left hand over your tummy. Breathe in slowly and deeply and silently think to yourself: ‘I am calm, relaxed and present.’ Repeat the affirmation as you breathe out slowly. Repeat the exercise very slowly five more times. Each time you breath in and breath out do so more slowly. Stretch the exercise to last for four or five minutes. You will find a stillness that slows down time and allows you to listen to your heart and find a depth of purpose. Have a piece of paper ready. When you are ready to write your hopes, dreams, desires and wishes, try to remember the following steps....
Last year I included my family and my friend who was visiting from Ireland in parts of my Late Summer - Autumn Equinox celebration. First we had dinner, lighting candles and just sharing each others company. Because there were six of us, I had six pieces of blank A4 coloured card, and I wrote each persons name on one of the cards. On one side of the card we wrote what we appreciated about the person whose name was on the card, each taking a turn to write something. When we had all written on each others card, I handed the cards to the person, and asked them to read quietly to themselves what had been written, and then to add what they appreciated about themselves, including what they had achieved the previous year - acknowledging with gratitude all they had accomplished and received. On the other side, I asked each to write about their dreams, desires, hopes and aspirations for the following year. My amazing friend was so awed by the experience, she was actually shedding a few tears by the end of the evening. My two teenage sons were a bit rumbustious as you can imagine and my husband and daughter participated in the true essence of the celebration. *Grin* Since I had a clear idea of what my husband most wanted, a decent second hand car, that was roadworthy and licensed, I had anticipated his wish and bought a small toy car as a gift to honour the celebration, and small gifts for each of my children and friend. While my friend kept her own A4 piece of paper, my husband and children gave me each of theirs for safe keeping.... and my husband kept his toy car on his desk, until we purchased our car just 7 months later. One year later, I have no need to read what is on those sheets of paper to know that most of our wishes have been granted, and that we are busy making our hopes, dreams and aspirations a reality. There are no hard and fast rules, rights or wrongs as to how you choose to celebrate the Late Summer - Autumn Equinox... or even that it needs to be during this time or labelled as such... If you really struggle with going through this process, try repeating the following each time you realise that you are judging and caught in the blame game.... “I am sorry, I love you.” - to yourself, to someone else, quietly in your mind, or out loud. One of the most important aspects of this celebration for me in the last few years, is that it allowed me to take my focus from looking at myself, my relationships and my life through a magnifying glass with judgement and blame and back to facing myself in the mirror with kindness, gentleness and love - giving me ultimate responsibility for myself and my life, and gaining back my personal power and inner stillness. Love always I would love to hear from you and would enjoy your feedback, so please [ Email ] if you would like to share your experience! Affirmation ......Gratitude! - [ Read More ] ********************************************* "If we don’t forgive ourselves for our mistakes, And the soul cannot grow under a blanket of guilt, -- Joan Borysenko ********************************************* |