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My 1/2 day, 24/7 life! Seven years ago before my son was given to us to brighten our days and awaken our nights, I worked in a full-day position. Leaving home by 7am and arriving sometimes way after 9pm (even the occasional midnight hour). With my hubby on film shoots or 6-day edits we never really considered what would happen to our time when the babies came! Mostly our lives revolved around work, with us often sitting down for dinner after 10 at night and catching up on each other's days. When my son, Keanu, was born, all this changed - for me that is …. My hubby still came home well into the late night hours, ate dinner alone or on set, would take on Keanu's midnight bottle-feed to give me some shut-eye, and would be back off to work by 8am. 40 years ago this would have been fine as most women only worked until they were pregnant - the men carrying the financial burden of the workforce whilst wifie sat at home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids (now it's a necessity for 2 incomes to run the household!) I learnt to hate the binds of motherhood (not the strings that have your heart and your child interlinked) but the binds of what motherhood now stood for! We women carry the baby within our bodies, hearts and soul - no drinking, smoking, major partying, having morning-sickness, hormonal shifts of epic proportions … and what about dad - well, not much changes there - maybe an added burden re the finances!!!! When the wee ones are born - mum's become 24 hour milking & nurturing machines, changing nappies, bleary-eyed wives and "tv-dinner" chefs. I had limited assistance and it was more for the household stuff, so baby was all my responsibility. My life as I knew it, turned upside down! I couldn't just go and shower or go to the loo unless my son was sleeping (he had reflux colic, so was either drinking, sleeping or puking!) Was a first time mom - so was probably also a little paranoid about leaving him alone for a couple of minutes. Shopping for groceries became a new experience - where to put a pram if you have a trolley; what to put in the car first when you'v finished shopping - the groceries or the baby? (have now learned it's your groceries first, so if they try and hijack you in a parking lot they get the food, but not your kid!) I had to juggle times to grocery shop, shower, cook or catch up on sleep between baby's nap times and feed times (yeah right - 7 years and another baby later I have still not caught up on lost zuzzz hours!!) So days became broken down into breastfeed (1/2 hours), nappy change, nap, breastfeeds, nappy change, nap; etc, bath, bedtime - no longer hours! It wasn't just me anymore - now there were two of me - I couldn't just pop out to see anyone - popping out could take anything from 20 mins to 1 1/2 hours just to get ready and get Keanu in the car - so I stopped "popping out" and stayed at home - I became frustrated and felt trapped. When my 3 months maternity leave was up, I couldn't wait to get back to work. I understood work stress and at least if I needed a break, I could do so without needing a babysitter. I worked a full day - work at 8am, left by 5pm to get to Keanu's crèche by 5.30pm; home to prepare/cook his dinner, bath and bedtime by 7.30pm - then I would start our dinner. I was constantly tired but was always trying to prove that I could cope at being a full-time wife, mum and employee. My health deteriorated (see When my daughter was born in 2003 - I had just started to get my life and figure back - and once I realised I was pregnant, the feelings of irritability started again - my body that was going through changes, my weight and size increasing; my hormones that were going haywire! I also had a more pressurised position at work and was always trying to prove that even tho' I was pregnant - I could still do the work! I ran around and around - I didn't sleep well, my baby was incredibly active in my tummy and worst of all, my hubby had been asked to do a 3 month movie in Durban - so here I was trying to be both mom and dad to my son, cook, clean and maintain the house, be the ever-cheerful and capable employee; and try to ensure that my babe was growing healthily. It took its toll on me (my) and when my hubby returned from Durban, I was advised to remain at home for the remainder of my pregnancy (I was 32 weeks) as with all the bouncing around that babe was doing, I now had an irritable uterus and was in the beginning stages of labour. My daughter was born at 36 weeks, stayed in ICU for 19 days (see soon to be published, TYLA's TALE) - but the milk machine in me was active from day one - expressing 7 times a day so she could have breast milk tubed into her; Going through this ordeal with my daughter brought about the most radical change of all - yes women are 24 hour milk, diaper changing and nurturing machines - but I no longer resented this, and even though my man's body and life has not changed as much as mine - I have accepted that his turn is coming - that when the kids are growing up, his strength and masculinity is going to be used, abused and needed, his wallet emptied, his heart stretched and pulled, and even though he will not go through all the changes that I went through - he has earned the right to be called "DAD". And just so that you know I am telling the truth.... MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school kids to the following questions !!! Why did God make mothers?
How did God make mothers?
What ingredients are mothers made of?
Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?
What kind of little girl was your mom?
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
Who's the boss at your house?
What's the difference between moms & dads?
What does your mom do in her spare time?
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
**************************************************************** Bevskins xxx !!! PS. For more articles written by Bevskins [ Read More ] |