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HO'OPONOPONO Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients... without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved. When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story. However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more. I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does -- but that's wrong. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at the Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit. Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal. “After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,” he told me. “Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.” This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: “What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?” “I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” he said. I didn't understand. Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don't like -- is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you. I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you. I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files? “I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again,' he explained. “That's it?” “That's it.” Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you,' I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance. Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying 'I love you,' I somehow healed within me what was creating him. I later attended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, ‘The Attractor Factor’. He told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve. “What about the books that are already sold and out there?” I asked. “They aren't out there,” he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. “They are still in you.” In short, there is no out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it with love. ******************************************************************** Healing with Love..... I have some experience of what Joe Vitale writes about, and I would like to share some of my own personal perspectives. When trying to stretch your mind to encompass the idea of ‘Total Responsibility’ you need to be aware of your immediate experience, and the thoughts you are having right now. Trying to stretch your mind around the concept of ‘Total Responsibility’ in a reflective state or when your thoughts are wondering from one thing to another, or from one person to the next, could prove to be completely overwhelming. So consider that the idea of ‘Total Responsibility’ and embracing the healing of yourself by invoking thoughts of 'I am sorry' and 'I love you,' to be an inner healing, without outward projection towards another person. In other words when thinking ‘I love you’ - it means very directly that you are saying that ‘You Love Yourself’. Your thoughts and focus should be clearly directed towards yourself. Ensure that your mind is cleared of chaotic thoughts by your focus and concentration on that one thought - ‘I am sorry. I love you.’ Directed inwards to yourself, without expectation and completely unconditional. Loving yourself is a challenging lesson to learn, especially having experienced an upbringing or conditioning of parents, siblings, teachers and peers... who continuously advocate ‘don’t be selfish’ - ‘think of your brothers and sisters’ - ‘share with your friends’. Being confident and loving yourself, is too often viewed by others as ‘egotistical’. Or being self-indulgent, self-centred, or self-opinionated. So remember, that this too can be a reality that is created by yourself in the concept of ‘Total Responsibility’ and so needs to be healed within yourself. I have discovered through my own personal experience that results are much quicker and faster when relating to someone you have never met.... like the example that Joe Vitale shares about the email that upset him. However, when it comes to long shared relationships, the process needs to be ongoing and continuous even as the upsets in certain relationships often occur. It does take time, so persevere as the relationship will improve and heal, as you do. When I was in my mid-twenties and decided to heal the hurt and traumatic experiences that still caused me pain from my childhood and teenage years, I would often lay awake long into the night, and this was the time I used to focus on my personal healing. While my husband and children were asleep, and our home was dark and still, my thoughts were clear of the normal every day tasks I needed to do. So, while my healing process was more complex than ‘I am sorry. I love you’, (if I had only known then, what I know now *Grin*), the essence of the technique will work, and the simplicity of the process will expedite the healing process, this night time stillness for me, gave me the hour or two I needed to focus on my own personal healing. It was a challenge to stay focused on my own responsibility when considering the things that had happened to me, especially when I was a child, however I kept my thoughts focused on being responsible for my own healing, thus re-claiming my own personal power. The more healing I experienced, the more responsible I became for my life, the more personal power and confidence I gained. The more hours I spent completely focused on my healing, the more the negative thoughts and emotions I had once felt, began to transform into feelings of peace, serenity and joy within. When I was doing workshops and individual facilitation work, I found that no matter how long or how short the session was, I needed to take at least that amount of time for myself after the workshop had ended or the individual had left. This time was needed for my own healing and self-loving. So that even as I embraced the concept of total responsibility and I experienced total wellbeing, the process of self-healing and self-loving is ongoing, continous and evolving, just as you and your life experience continues and changes. So even as you consider your relationships, and the struggle you may have in being focused on your own healing, lift yourself above the challenge of struggle by simple repeating Being ‘Totally Responsible’ for your entire life experience can prove overwhelming in concept. In essence, in practice and in reality it is the most awesome transformation you will ever experience, and will take you on a journey to total wellbeing. Love and Laughter to You and Yours
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