20th December 2004

Dedication to Laina

Most of us have to work at a job to earn an income to be able to live.
Some people are fortunate that they can achieve this through doing something that they love.... something that they are passionate about....

Some of us, just have a ‘job’ that allows us to earn a living. I started working at a second hand bookshop earlier this year. Not a particular glamourous or sophisticated job. I buy second hand books... sometimes the dirtiest, oldest most neglected books you can imagine. Paper backs and hardcovers that are tattered, torn and falling apart. Some of them just go straight into the recycle bin, others I clean, repair and price, then they go onto the shelves ready for someone to buy.

Whilst I have a splendid ‘office’ - a patio on the deck in front of the bookshop, with the panoramic view of the beach and sea and the vista of mountains - some days all I have time to do is work. Cleaning and repairing books is hard work, and at the end of the day my arms and shoulders ache. Serving customers, eight hours at a stretch, leaves my feet feeling like raw meat... they just hurt so much.

Then, every now and again I find a forgotten treasure amidst the worst and most neglected books. The likes of ‘The Prophet’ or ‘The Beauty of Life’ by Kahlil Gibrain or something written by Paulo Coelho.... and I wonder how someone can bear to part with such books. Books that once cleaned and repaired, very seldom make it to a shelf in the shop before they are snapped up by a customer who has searched months, sometimes years for these books.

Sometimes I get to go on a buying spree, to purchase new books for the bookshop. I was on such a trip when I found two books, covered in dust and black grime, a bit bashed and definitely neglected in a forgotten corner of a warehouse. Coffee table - display books, simply titled ‘Women’!

With photographs of women by Annie Leibovitz and with essay written by Susan Sontag. The essence and uniqueness of the books, come from the fact that the pictures are all women, different women! Different races, different shapes and sizes, different walks of life! Some of the women are stunningly beautiful, actresses and models, and some of the women are very old where the lines and wrinkles on their faces tell their own story!

In essence the book acknowledges, portrays and celebrates all women!

I knew I had to have both books, one for myself and one for a person who has become such a special woman in my life. As I cleaned the layers of dust and wiped the black grime from the cover of one of the books, I considered how and when I would be able to give this book to her. And of course how she would react to receiving such a neglected ‘second’ hand book as a gift! *Grin*

Laina has been a subscriber to WhyWeight for a while, and became a participant of the WWOL program earlier this year! While our relationship began as central to the program and her participation on the program. In essence our relationship has also evolved to a place where we are friends and share a special bond as women. Probably without Laina even realising it, she has helped me to acknowledge and appreciate all the ‘forgotten and neglected’ parts of myself and my life!

Simple, little things.... wondrous pleasures.... and things that I enjoy!

Through her open sharing, Laina has constantly reminded me of how much there is to love about life! Laina reminded me how much I love to build puzzles, when she shared the simple act of buying a puzzle for herself as one of the ‘rewards’ in her plan of action on the program. She inspired me to pamper and nurture myself with a massage and facial. She reminded me how much I love to walk when we shared email about how walking can be much more than just exercise. Laina inspired me to go on a shopping spree to buy clothes that are ‘fun’ and WOW, rather than just out of necessity.

When Laina and I met for the first time, and I gave her the book ‘Women’ explaining that it was second hand, and although I had cleaned and repaired it, it was still slightly damaged, my concern at her reaction at receiving a ‘second hand’ gift, was completely overwhelmed by her enthusiasm and gratitude.

“I too want to thank you for the lovely gifts - books are my very favourite things. The Women book is absolutely stunning. I can look at those pictures for hours and it is such a wonderful reminder that being a woman is not one single thing, but encompasses so many different faces, shapes, sizes and personalities. So far removed from the magazine picture perfect fare that we are offered.
A perfect gift - thank you!”

Laina has been such a wonderful example and friend to me. The sharing and caring have reminded me how important friends are. That distance can become irrelevant with modern technology. That an email can make you laugh and cry and let you know that someone is thinking about you. Laina’s patience with me, has allowed me to be patient with myself. Laina’s love and gratitude for the WWOL program, has deepened my love and passion for what the program is, does and can do.

Mostly, Laina has reminded me that as much as I share myself with others,
They share themselves with me!

When I love, I am loved. When I care, I am cared for.
When I am patient, others are patient with me!
When you give with gratitude, you can receive with abundance!
When you value yourself, others can value you too!
When you honour yourself, you respect others and they in turn respect you!

That when you ask yourself the question ‘Where Is The Love?’
....the answer is seldom found in grand passion, expensive gifts or reckless adventure! (although, those too have there place ;o)

Love is found in ....
.....the inspiring emails and words from a friend!
.....the pat on the back or the word of acknowledgement!
.....the sincere compliment and enthusiastic embrace!
.....the hearty hello, and heartfelt good-bye!
.....the open communication, talking and chatting!
.....the well thought of gift, albeit second hand!
Love is found in .....the daily and continuous sharing of ourselves with a friend!

Love is found in
the ever changing and growing relationship that you enjoy with another person...
Someone who has the same values and interests as you do...
Someone who is unique and different, as much as you are....
Someone who has a different perspective and shares that with you....
eloquently and with humility.

Love is found.....
when you can see your strengths and character reflected in another!
Love is found.....
when you can share your darkness and weakness without fear or regret!
Love.... abiding and unconditional is found in the circle of friendship!

That grows.... expands and endures across miles and time!

Thank you Laina for such a wonderful friendship!
Love, Laughter and Blessings
Mands

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