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How to Flex your Courage Muscles Courage is synonymous with ‘guts’. We all have guts. Those weird and wonderfully contorted ropes of muscle that fill the abdominal cavity. And since we all have these ‘guts’ then we all have the ability to work on developing courage through regular exercise. Don’t get me wrong, a simple and daily flexing of the abdominal muscles won’t produce the kind of courage we all need to realise our dreams. A kind of Schwarzenegger-like courage requires our commitment to daily sessions of mental sweat, effort and some awkward posing. Don’t think you can buy it or inherit it along with Aunt Doris’s jewels. Our courage muscles need to be stretched, flexed, bent and whipped into shape. Why do we need Courage, you may ask? Especially considering that developing it means burning a few calories and promises some intestinal unpleasantness. After all you’re doing just fine in your do-or-die job, your mother-in-law is God and you will never, ever wear red nail polish or get your ears pierced! So what if sometimes you have an anxiety attack in peak hour traffic and you think that your boss is Hannibal Lecter and that’s why you stay! Working on developing your courage muscles will propel you forward. Courage builds confidence and confidence feeds on courage. Jennifer had grand ideas and greater dreams. As PA to her super-successful self-made boss, Jennifer quickly fell into the ‘complacency-pit’. Deep down, under the cobwebs of self-doubt Jennifer treasured her dream of becoming a dance teacher. Every Saturday for fifteen years Jennifer practised her dream in the tango and the salsa. Jennifer still treasures this dream of being a dancer and if you ask her today if anything is different she will tell you that she has been flexing her courage muscles. Jennifer is stretching; reaching for her dream by practising being courageous. Refiloe, a twenty-seven year old call-centre supervisor was drawn to psychotic males in their thirties. She repeated the same pattern over and over again until finally, she ended up in hospital with broken ribs and an aching realisation. If she didn’t muster the courage to get out of that particularly lethal relationship she wouldn’t be around long enough to realise her dream of finding a good man and having a family. Refiloe’s life took a turn for the better after she confronted her ex-boyfriend about his abuse. ‘It was not the ‘safest’ thing to do’, Refiloe admits today, ‘but it was the bravest thing I have ever done.’ He moved on and so did she and today she is single, healthy and hopeful. Facing our fears builds confidence. I like to think of it as building an inner temple. Every time we face a private fear we earn another pillar of strength. All too often, we hold back because we don’t feel worthy or special enough. We believe, wrongly, that ‘other’ people deserve what we so desperately want. Somehow we fool ourselves into thinking that the rich and successful are a privileged few. What we forget of course is that the people out there making things happen simply had the courage to pursue their dreams. Sure a few had fairy godmothers in pumpkin-orange Bentleys. Too often we stop ourselves from taking the next step towards our new life because we fool ourselves into believing that external factors have to agree or give us permission. What’s stopping you from doing something courageous today? Let’s get practical – try the following (one a day)
If you feel you’re not ready to try any of the above then start by keeping a list of all the people who inspire you. Courageous people. South Africa is a country blessed with courageous people (might have something to do with all the red meat we eat which as you know, exercises our guts). Yolanda Mc Adam Yolanda is a practising LIFE COACH focusing on self-development and confidence and assertiveness training. Yolanda says: “I coach individuals and also train wannabe coaches. To define 'life coaching' - a life coach will help the client 'move forward' in life by helping them overcome perceived obstacles.” |