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June 2005 WhyWeight.... Reach Out and Commitment! Hello Everyone Welcome to our new subscribers and I hope everyone is healthy in this cold, winter weather that we are experiencing in the Southern Hemisphere. Of course our Northern Hemisphere subscribers are well into summer and probably enjoying the sun, sea and sand! *Grin* I know it’s been three months since I last sent out a newsletter.... sometime in March I found myself struggling to write articles for the WhyWeight website and the various attempts I made to write the newsletter seemed innocuous at best. Writing articles and newsletters in the last four years has been a labour of love, something I really enjoy. I thrive on sharing my experiences, it gives me a thrill to share an insight or idea I have, and I love exploring the knowledge I have gained in my daily life on the website and through the newsletter. The feedback and emails I receive from you give me deeper insight and my enthusiasm and motivation expands. Yet early in March I found writing a most challenging chore (basically too much like hard work), a challenge I found myself unable to overcome in the last three months. So instead of struggling to form sentences and write articles of coherence.... I decided to do something different. The saying ‘a change is as good as a holiday’ is indeed true. I have been redesigning the website, using colour and graphics..... re-reading all the articles as I updated the website.... in the process I touched a deep cord within my heart and rediscovered a deep love and affection for the website and it’s purpose. As I read the articles of feedback and sharing I have received over the years from you the subscribers, my heart has been touched with the courage of your struggle and sharing..... my mind has been inspired with our common struggles of body and weight issues. Whilst my ‘three week’ project to change the website has extended over the last three months.... and I am still busy ;o).... it’s a process I am enjoying.... and since it’s a labour of love, probably something that will never be complete. There’s a certain peace and serenity in accepting that I have the website - with articles to write and newsletters to send, a place to share my body and weight issues, subscribers to share my frustrations and triumph with. A place to expand my knowledge and explore my learning’s. I have re-discovered how much I have learnt in the past few years about weight and nutrition, how much I know about the body (and my body ;o) and the way it works, how much I have grown and expanded in my knowledge and wisdom.... Yet, I have also discovered how much there is still for me to learn and discover.... and how very exciting that is! None of us have all the answers...... exploring the questions, especially together is fun and exciting in it’s different perspectives! I have discovered I learn so much more when I share an idea, and others give me feedback and share their perspectives.... then my insight deepens and my learning expands. A few weeks ago I emailed Laina about how much stress and strife I had been experiencing and that I was finally finding a certain balance in my life..... her reply in part, sparked some insight and helped me to regain a deeper perspective and restore complete balance deep within myself: Laina wrote: Talking about balance, I am really struggling to get back into balance. I have gotten so slack with my food, the exercise, the water, everything. Me who thought it would last forever. Well wake up time. I suppose it is about being kind to myself again and taking the time. That's it I think. The time. When I am rushing about I get into all sorts of bad habits (no regular meals, eating on the run, too busy to plan, to exercise etc etc...) Then I feel lousy about myself and then that leads into a whole negative spiral. But as much as I say OK, now lets do it, I don't. Another day goes by and more of the same. So what to do? I remember saying to you quite recently that I just want to get on with living and not worry about this stuff. Well don't seem to be very successful with that;-) So for now this is how it is... Too much thinking, me thinks *Grin* As I read the email from Laina, I realised I was experiencing similar emotions and frustrations. In that moment of empathy I found my balance and a solution came to mind.... something I have practised in the last week, and now I feel great! You see I believe it’s the guilt we feel about eating certain foods that piles on the extra kilograms.... if we think and believe that what we are eating is fattening, then that thought manifests itself in reality on our tummy, hips, thighs and bottoms. If we feel bad about eating something in public.... and eat it in secret, that increases our feelings of guilt and we feel undeserving.... that’s when that added weight increases. As the guilt increases, our focus on what we should be doing (drinking water, eating healthy and exercising ;o) - decreases, and our focus on what we are doing - our bad habits..... increases and of course therefor we start doing that even more and the pattern of guilt and bad habits increases..... The spiral of feeling guilty, hopeless and a failure making how we feel and how we look even worse than it actually is. So in the last week, every time I started to feel guilty about NOT drinking enough water, eating on the run, and forgoing my usually exercise program, I stopped and followed these four basic steps:
Breathing deeply automatically calms me and will boost my metabolism (some research states up to 50%) and made me feel instantly better. Drinking water has immediate benefits - hydrates and cleanses the body, increases mental clarity and speeds the metabolism to name just a few. Eating fruit is a healthy, nutritious snack, and moving my body and completing a chore always makes me feel like I have accomplished something.... however small. I also told my EGO that I had completed four positive habits and any guilt I had been feeling was automatically diminished. The difference between feeling negatively guilty and positively empowered is simply choosing to feel either way, and making a commitment to do something to diminish feelings of negativity and guilt and empowering yourself to feel positive once more. Receiving Laina’s email helped me to experience feelings of empathy and stop the downward spiral of negativity and guilt I had been feeling, boosting my sense of self-esteem to a place where I had a choice to make a commitment to do something positive and empower myself to feel better. Although my life has got even more chaotic and stressful due to circumstances and events, (three kids with flu over the last month and now they are writing exams, my hubby Dave, first struggling with bronchitis, then flu and now a broken rib, my boss going overseas for a four month holiday while I manage his business), I have retained a sense of calm and balance from deep within myself. I am grateful for the email I received from Laina, it came in a moment I needed it the most and helped me to choose a different path at that exact time in my life. I am grateful to Laina for her strength and courage in sharing her accomplishments, triumphs and success with me, and I am even more grateful to Laina for sharing her frustrations, guilt and fears with me - this allows me to see my own fears, guilt and frustrations and in that moment of empathy and acceptance to find a positive resolution to empower myself. As an added blessing, Bevskins sent me an email with a poem that increased my feelings of Strength and Courage. Thanks Bevskins! Strength and Courage It takes strength to be certain, It takes strength to fit in, It takes strength to share a friend's pain, It takes strength to hide your own pain, It takes strength to stand guard, It takes strength to conquer, It takes strength to endure abuse, It takes strength to stand alone, It takes strength to love, It takes strength to survive, [Printed in Travel Agents Inspirational Corner] After reading the poem, I decided no matter how much of a struggle it was to start writing again after a three month ‘dry spell’ - I would accept that I have doubts and just write what was in my heart and share what is happening in my life, hopefully finding the courage to send this to you. I would share that even though I have successfully maintained my perfect body weight and size for a ten year period, I have come to realise that nothing lasts forever, and right now although my weight has been stable in the last 12 months, my size is something I am still struggling with and the cm’s are easing off slowly (very slowly) as I try to find a healthy eating regime and an exercise program that I enjoy and can maintain as part of my lifestyle. Although, I know I have the strength to share others frustration, guilt, pain and anger through the WhyWeight website, emails and programs.... the courage to share my own is far more challenging. I love to help others and feel empowered when serving my family, friends and each of you, asking and accepting help and support is something I need to learn to do with gratitude and grace, in whatever form it is offered. I have learnt the difference between ‘surviving’ and ‘living’ and with each life lesson and experience the strength to survive is far easier than the courage it takes to really live, embracing life with purpose and passion! I know that when I find the courage to live life, embracing each new experience with passion, I also find that every repeated experience also has purpose bringing deeper understanding and greater insight, however frustrating it might be! That a new beginning just allows you to experience the same things with a different perspective - in different circumstances, allowing you deeper understanding and insight. That when I am laughing and I should be crying or when I am crying and I should be laughing, it’s just my unique way of surrendering to life and letting myself know and accept that I still have more questions than I have answers... and guess what? That’s OK, because that’s the difference between ‘just surviving’ and ‘really living’ through the experience of what life is all about. That however true the quote: “Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together I would still keep my 38 year old body rather than changing it for my 21 year old body, because in 38 years I have survived and lived through countless moments and experiences. Each one unique and special having made me the person I am right now. Whilst my body, now, might have scars and stretch marks, wrinkles, dimples and some extra centimetres..... (something that my 21 year old body lacked ;o).... Every moment of those 38 years has been made possible because of the amazing miracle that my body is. Every minute I have survived, every moment I have lived, every new experience, every repeated lesson..... all the tears, frustration, anger and guilt. Every step, hop, skip and jump. All the work, purpose and passion. I owe to my body.... The ability to see, hear, smell, taste and touch... are the gifts made possible, solely through our body. Every experience and every moment of every day! Cherish the body you have with acceptance, gratitude and love.... And you will have the body you deserve and desire! Email: [ Mands ] PS.... read and share the stories already published You can submit you own experiences to be published by sending your story to List of articles written by Mands..... Read More
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