the season of Autumn....

in Ancient Chinese traditions, Autumn is linked with the element of Metal,
and begins at the Autumn Equinox, proceeding for six weeks to the start of Winter!
(21st - 23rd March to the 1st May in the Southern Hemisphere,
21st - 23rd September to the 1st November in the Northern Hemisphere).

The Autumn state of Reflection.......

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
-- Socrates

Research has indicated - and it’s believed, that we think approximately 800 words per minute, while we can only vocalise about 200 words in a minute. Talking about our feelings and deeper emotions with a close friend or relative, helps so much because it slows our thought processes down and allows more conscious awareness and understanding of our emotions and feelings. Now, when we write or type what we are feeling and experiencing, at less than a hundred words per minute, this allows us to identify more clearly our negative and positive thoughts, increasing the depth of our understanding and awareness.

During this time of Autumn reflection, the mirror image can too easily become a reflection of only our negative thoughts and weaknesses, inducing doubt, anxiety, anger and resentment..... the reflection in the mirror highlighting just our physical shortcomings and our body’s imperfections. The result too easily increasing self-recrimination and criticism sometimes even self-hatred.

Starting a journal or writing about your feelings, emotions and the things that cause you the most worry, for only 15 minutes everyday, can help you identify the actual problem and give you understanding of the deeper cause, significantly easing distress.

Behavioural researchers and psychologists have discovered that those of their clients who start a journal, writing about their problems, boost their immune system and enhance their well-being to the degree that they miss fewer days of work during Winter. (Sometimes up to 70% fewer sick days in Winter.)

The process can be a simple one if you are writing in a diary or a journal for the first time.... make a specific time in your day that suits your lifestyle and work habits - some people find it easier to write first thing in the morning when they are feeling fresh and rejuvenated after a good nights sleep, their minds are clear and it’s easy to just write anything that comes to mind. I enjoy writing first thing in the morning, as I struggle to start later in the day or in the evening. Although, some people find it easier to write during their lunch hour, or late afternoon or in the evening when their feelings and emotions are focused and revolve around what is happening on that particular day. Explore and experiment with different times and whether it’s easier for you to write with a pen or type on a PC, (If I had to ‘write’ with a pen, none of what I have written on the WhyWeight website would exist, as I love the speed of typing, and specifically my backspace and delete keys, and obviously the spell checker ;o).

What ever works for you, writing about who you are, what you feel, what you have experienced and those irritating worries and problems can help you clearly identify the cause, giving you a clear picture of resolution and sometimes many more choices, than just trying to ‘think’ about something.

So start a journal today, and if you already have a journal or diary, reflect on the contents of the year so far and continue to do so. The wonderful experience of writing allows you to explore your deepest feelings and emotions with yourself, in complete privacy.

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‘Hall of Mirrors’

If you ever had the experience as a child of visiting the fun fare, or the opportunity to take your own children, you might have been lucky enough to visit the ‘Hall of Mirrors’, - which incidentally is one of my favourites. The ‘Hall of Mirrors’ is a room with corridors that meander through to different ‘mirrors’ - each showing a different reflection. As a child I ran from one mirror to the next in fits of laughter and giggles, bemused by how I ‘looked’. There was the ‘skinny mirror’ where my reflection was a skinny version of myself, the ‘fat mirror’ which showed me round as a ball, the ‘short mirror’, the ‘tall mirror’ and the ‘wriggly mirror’ all reflecting ‘short, tall and wriggly’ versions of myself.

The Autumn elemental energy of Metal is like a 24/7 ‘Hall of Mirrors’ ....emphasising your own perspectives and the distortions you have of yourself. While this can seem like one of Nature’s crueller tricks, it does however have purpose and the potential for growth in a positive way, if viewed as a learning experience of life.

Sometimes the experiences we have as children and teenagers, and even as adults, like comments made by parents, siblings, teachers, friends and our peers, when hurtful can leave wounds that although scarred, have yet to heal. This scar tissue on our psyche creating distortions of the image we have of ourselves.

A few years ago a young woman in her early twenties emailed me asking for help to improve her self-esteem. Her perspective of herself was that she was ugly and overweight, despite the attractive and slim image in the photo that she sent me. During the process of our six month email correspondence, she included the following extract:

“I have memories of my father calling me a whore since I was 13. Every time he said it, it wasn't true - The first time it happened I went to visit a friend.  We stayed in a small town.  We had a heat wave and she gave me a skirt to wear that sat about four fingers above my knee. Her friends boyfriend was busy washing his car on the corner property He was washing the car and the three of us girls were dancing to the music he was playing. My parents drove past and saw me - I was told that I was dancing like a whore on a street corner.  I was subsequently grounded for a year and believe me
- I WAS FORCED TO DO THE SENTENCE !!

Years later if I went out and came home in the early hours of the morning, I would find ugly messages written in permanent ink on my big mirror in my room - Every time it had to do with being a whore.  In my mind I know that it isn't true - I was never a whore. I was never a slut. I wasn't cheap and I did not sleep around. I was a young person enjoying her life, dancing, and going out with friends.”

Despite the fact that this young woman had left home five years previously, and completely distanced herself from her parents for those years, the memory of her fathers words still haunted her, and distorted the image she had of herself. Each time she looked in a mirror, all she saw were the words her father had written reflected back. So much so, that it effected everything in her life. Thankfully, through a process of forgiveness, acceptance, visual and meditative exercises, and writing positive words on her bedroom mirror, through writing a journal and sharing the contents in emails with me, she began to heal and restore her self-esteem, working towards ‘seeing’ herself as she really was.

She had the choice to continue seeing the ‘distortions’ that reflected back, or the choice to move forward by letting go of that distorted image, and replacing it with the reflection of the image of who she really was, by recognising her strength and her courage, by realising her unlimited potential and her character, and by ultimately seeing the attractive reflection and allowing her inner beauty to shine through and eventually being able to recognise her physical beauty.

During this time of Autumn reflection, life will reflect what you choose to think - if you choose to see your reflection as only ugly, distorted, weak, angry, fat, overweight and incapable of changing that reflected perspective, then so it will be. If you choose to see your weaknesses and your strengths, see those distortions as unhealed scarring that need to be resolved, see yourself as a person having a learning experience, striving to discover what you need to learn from your harshest and cruellest lessons, then circumstances will provide you with whatever is necessary for you to heal and see the negative as well as the positive dichotomy of your experience, allowing you to accept, forgive and let go.

Even if we see our reflection exactly as we are, only if we unconditionally accept and love who we are as we are at that time, can we realise that we have a choice to make the necessary changes to become who we want to be, allowing our inner beauty to shine from within and finally manifesting that outwards.

The time of Autumn reflection can be difficult and challenging, however viewed honestly, with compassion for yourself, it can also be a time of purpose, attracting what you most need to heal any unresolved issues. Even while Autumn is a short six weeks, your problems come from inside, focus on resolution as well as reflection during this time, with an honest and balanced perspective and a deep desire to heal, will attract all that you require into your life to make your Winter contemplation meaningful and allow you the time necessary and the healing that you need and want.

You have one life, You have infinite strength and courage, You are equal to the task,
only You can live the challenge!

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Love and Laughter to You and Yours
Mands

PS. I would love to hear from you so please send me an email if you have something to share, Email: [ mands ] with the subject line ‘Autumn’ - thanks!