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August 2005 - [ Read More ] August winds blow change! "Often when we think of August winds, we think of the "winds of change" - these winds (very similar to eastern philosophy) are seen as both a destructive and creative force, just like veld fires in the winter, clearing away the old so that new and fresh and exciting growth can come." John Payne, Family Constellations I am definitely feeling the affects of "SAD" (Seasonal Affective Disorder") and I am so looking forward to Spring with such hope! Normally, August is a bad month for our family as we have lost most of our family members within August, but this whole year seems to have been a very traumatic time for us. My brother, who lives in New Zealand, has in the last month, separated from his wife of 9 years; moved out of his family home; been made redundant from his employer after 9 years; and has also just found out that he has malignant cancerous moles on his back. My sister, who lives in SA, after struggling with back and major health problems since January this year, has now been told that she has to have major spinal fusion done within the next 3 weeks. Me - well, we just found out that our accountant (who died last year) has not submitted our company's tax returns and financials for the past 5 years so the taxman is after our well-earned money! (at least our problem is financial and not health-related!). These situations that we have all been through have been pretty hectic to say the least - however, with these winds of trauma have come winds of change! My brother has a new home; a new life; looking for a more exciting and rewarding career; has grown so much closer to his kids and is now looking after his health! My sister, who has deteriorated rapidly health wise this year, has found the strength within her and her family to help her through her upcoming op and has also found help in the most bizarre places - and from people that she hardly knows. So, maybe the winds of change do blow - and for me, no matter what - the good winds will out blow the bad! ******************************************************************** August winds blow once again - 2006 When Mands asked me to update the “August Winds” article that I wrote last year, I was very keen to do so and started writing the new article on the 1st August. Little did I know that this was going to take a month to write my story. Earlier in July, my family had been in contact with my uncle (my mom’s brother) Don, who was coming to Johannesburg on the 9th August to celebrate being free of bowel cancer after a 2 year battle (pronounced “clear of cancer” on the 18 June by doctors)... What was to make this visit special was the fact that this would be the first family get-together in over 18 years, and we would meet our niece for the first time. Unfortunately, the visit never took place as on Monday 28th July, we received a call from Kim, Don’s daughter to say that he had been admitted to hospital on Sunday and the doctors had discovered liver cancer. Sadly after one dose of chemotherapy, Don’s body gave up the fight and he passed away late on Thursday 3rd August. The worst part of Don’s passing, was the fact that we were all going to visit him in hospital that Thursday, but due to unforeseen circumstances weren’t able to go through to Vereeniging so had re-scheduled for the Saturday, so the guilt of us not going through on the day has sat with all of us. We eventually did get to have our family get-together, but not under the happiest of circumstances. In May this year, I applied for new passports for hubby and I, at the Randburg Home Affairs office (stolen last year!) and was told that this would take approximately 8 weeks for delivery. As I was going to be travelling to Namibia on the 6th August, I would need my passport by then so it should have been fine. However by the 22nd of July, my passport had still to be processed in Pretoria, so was advised to apply for a temporary passport. I duly applied (another R96.00) and the temporary passport should have been ready within 7 days, but by the 3rd August still had not received anything. Eventually I went back to Home Affairs and sat at their offices for 3 hours until they finally prepared it whilst I waited. So, on Sunday 6th August, I flew off to Namibia [ “Flight 170…no!” ] – a trip that maybe I should not have made… however, I do believe our angels were with us. On my return from Namibia on Tuesday, 8th August, I went to fetch my kids from my parents place and finally arrived home at about 9pm. I was looking forward to putting my kids into bed, then unpacking and having a relaxing evening at home. Well, I did get the kids to bed, but the unpacking and the relaxing had to wait – as I discovered whilst watching Furby (my son’s hamster) give birth to her new batch of babies, that the cage was open and that her older batch of babies had escaped – The following week my house was turned upside down whilst the insurance agency’s flooring representatives came in to replace my wooden flooring due to my little “flood” in late July – must admit they did a sterling job! During July and August, I was helping my parents to pack up their house, as they were moving to a new place, and as my mum had undergone major back surgery in June wasn’t able to bend down or carry anything. This was very sad for me to do as we had lived in the house since 1 January 1986, and the memories are pretty awesome. Whilst packing I came across a box of “treasures” that my mom has filled through the years – along with some baby photos of us, I found a little blue dress that I had made in school in 1980 (with long teeth I can tell you as I hated sewing or knitting!) and my daughter Tyla, decided to try it on! I cried my heart out seeing my little girl in that dress – as when I had sewn it I would never have known that I would see my daughter in something that I had made and that my mom had kept for so many years (*sniff*). I was also sad for selfish reasons, as my parents had lived within a kilometre from our house (opposite Tyla’s pre-school and down the road from Keanu’s primary school) since 1996 and I had become quite used to popping in after fetching the kids and also relying on them being near when I needed help or just their company! Now my parents live 17km’s away in another direction so will only get to see them once a week. The other thing that was bothering me with their move was the fact that it brought back sad memories of a previous move in 1978 when my dad was still alive, and the fact that all the dates fell on exactly the same days of the week scared me even more. You see, my mom and dad moved out of a big house in Bedfordview into a small townhouse on Wednesday, 16th August 1978. The move went okay but it was traumatic for us as my dad had decided to move on the 1st August so we hadn’t really had time to adjust to the move. On Friday, 18th August 1978, we celebrated my mom’s birthday in the new townhouse, and on Saturday, 19th August, my father passed away from a heart attack. So you can imagine that when my mom and step-father (the most wonderful man on earth!) arranged their move in the week of the 28th August, we were all quite unsettled. Needless to say, their move went well and they have happily settled into their new spot. During the last week of August I had to take my son to the doctor as I was becoming concerned about the skin discolouration that I had seen on his back and legs. I had noticed this in March but thought that it was his tan “washing out” as the brown patches were like tan marks and the white patches like a tan fading. Unfortunately, he has now been diagnosed with a skin pigmentation disorder, “Vitiligo” (melanocytes (the cells that make pigment) in the skin, the mucous membranes (tissues that line the inside of the mouth, nose, genital and rectal areas), and the retina (inner layer of the eyeball) are destroyed – resulting in white patches of skin on the body and the hair that grows in the affected areas usually turn white)”. The cause of this as we have now discovered is from either the immune system or severe emotional distress – and unfortunately Keanu has been hit by both – a blood disease that he has inherited from me (Elliptocytosis) as well as the armed robbery last year, concentration and speech problems and being bullied at school. I feel quite helpless that a 7 year old little boy has to go through all this, but we are taking as many steps to help his stress, concentration and immune deficiency as we can, and can only pray that we will all get through this. (The other way that I am able to cope with all this is knowing that so many of my friends and also people that I do not know, are coping with far worse tragedies and problems in their lives – and if they can do it, so can we!) By the end of August, I was becoming aware of the change of season – seeing the beautiful blossoms that were budding in the trees around our house, the barren trees with their promise of new leaves just beginning to shoot, that I realised that spring was just around the corner and was looking forward to the last day of winter. I also found this poem about August and thought it pretty appropriate for us… and pray that next year, August will become a better month for us all! August rushes by like desert rainfall, -- Elizabeth Maua Taylor ******************************************************************** Bevskins xxx !!! PS. For more articles written by Bevskins [ Read More ]
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